Declan's New Cavies

Just before Christmas, our son Declan lost his precious Puffy, the guinea pig. His tenth birthday is this weekend, so today we had one of our Mystery Bus Tours. We went to Aurora, to a place called Cavy Care Rescue. Shannon, the chief Rescuer, keeps all the guinea pigs that people don't want or can't take care of and adopts them out. She also has a chinchilla and some bunnies, plus a sweet nine-year-old Pomerian dog. Here are the guinea pigs Declan adopted.

The top one is called Chocolate and the bottom one is Dumpling - these are the names Declan gave them. They are a bonded pair of females. Chocolate is a black and red Abyssinian and Dumpling is called a Teddy Bear guinea page. Here is their description (and their former names) from the Cavy Care website:

Yaffa is a lovely little teddy bear tri colored. Her companion Aida is an Abyssinian black, red with a little white milk mustache that is quite charming. They came together and must remain together. It is not our policy to split up pairs because guinea pigs bond for life and I would not want one to mourn the loss of the other. We are here to promote healthy guinea pigs and healthy adoptions. If you would like to meet these little Loves please call to meet them.

They rode home in a box on his lap. Tonight one of Declan's friends is sleeping over and the guinea pigs are the chief attraction! That, and the Wii.

February Networking Ideas

I don't mind this time of year, but then again I lived in New York for a decade and in Chicago for two more. Wait, I almost forgot Pittsburgh. So February in Boulder doesn't totally depress me, although some town around here got 110 mph winds today - like a hurricane without the rain. I almost got blown off the road yesterday in Broomfield.

Anyway, this is a great time of year to network. Everyone is stuck in their offices or home offices or wherever they work. You can shake it up and get some people together. Here are five February networking ideas to give you some important moral support and idea-sharing opportunities this month.

1. Invite three friends who don't know one another, to lunch. Four is a good number, and you'll do each of your friends the favor of introducing him or her to two terrific new people.
2. Do a spa networking thing -- okay, this might work better for women than for men. You can invite people who don't know one another, but if it were me, I'd rather do a spa day with women I already know, because of the scanty coverings involved. Schedule the treatments so that you have plenty of time just to talk. Heavenly!
3. Call a couple of people you haven't seen in ages -- I mean people you're borderline embarassed to call or write to because it's been so long - and suggest a meeting. I'll be very surprised if any of these folks says "What, you?" People like to hear from people they like. You'd be pleased if one of your old cronies thought of calling you. So do it - networking doesn't have a statute of limitations.
4. Ask a friend to go with you to a networking event hosted by a group neither of you is familiar with. Let's face it, you're unlikely to do it on your own. So make it a twosome. You'll meet some new people and with luck, get some good ideas, plus the chance to catch up with your friend on the ride to and from the shindig.
5. Call someone and ask him or her for a catch-up meeting that is not over coffee or lunch. Rather, suggest a walk. Walking and talking is the greatest, and you'll feel much better after your walk-and-talk than you would downing one more cup of coffee. Seriously.

If you are not a natural or a comfortable networker, write to us in the Ask Liz Ryan discussion group and ask for suggestions. We've got loads of 'em. Networking is not just about business leads or job-search leads or any other kind of transaction. The benefits of networking are many, but my top three are: fresh ideas --- moral support --- and the opportunity to help other people. What more could you ask for from an hour's time?

Memorability and Significance

There was a post on the Ask Liz Ryan discussion group about being memorable - so that when you meet other people, they don't immediately forget you about you.

This is a great topic because if you have ever experienced it, you know the particular mix of feelings - dismay, disconcertedness and irritation, for instance - that go along with being forgotten by a person you've met, had numerous heartfelt conversations with, or even shared a meal with. It stinks to have people forget you, no doubt about it.

So the topic was "how can I become more memorable?" Here are my thoughts.

There are ways that are commonly suggested to networkers to help people remember that they've already met you. One is to wear the same lapel pin all the time, or different lapel pins with the same motif, such as zebras or goldfish.

This is a good suggestion - in my experience, it works. When I see that zebra or goldfish, I think "Okay, I've met her before." The zebra or goldfish helps to do something. A good question is "What does the zebra or goldfish do?" It causes some neurons to fire, and say "You know her." The zebra lady's memorability quotient goes up.

Now, let's ask this followup question: what do we want to be memorable for?

Here in our town, there is a young man of about 20 who has his whole face tattooed. It's a bit shocking. I feel bad for him, and as a mom, I feel bad for his mom. Whatever this young man may have accomplished or may yet accomplish, everyone knows him because his face is tattooed. The teenagers call the poor young man "Face." There is another young man in town whose face is half-covered by a tattoo. The kids call this fellow "Half-Face." You see one of these guys, you won't forget him. The memorability level for both of them is off the charts.

And here's the thing - we don't know anything about these two guys, Face and Half-Face. One may play the cello and the other one may be incredible with animals, but all we know is that they opted to get their faces tattooed.

Memorability is not the same as significance. I had a neighbor across the street for four years. I knew the guy did not register me - I'd say Hi and he'd say Hi and I was not on his radar screen in the slightest degree. I went to eat lunch with a friend, and the friend said "Oh, let me introduce you to Terry!" I smiled, because I recognized Terry as my former across-the-street neighbor and I knew that when my friend introduced us, he'd say "Nice to meet you," and of course that's what happened. I was not significant to him. It's not hard to see why. He saw me schlepping around town with my kids, smaller than his kids, and I'm sure he thought "a mom" and that was that. We never talked about business or the arts or politics or anything else. The conversation never went that far. I could say "his loss" but I don't feel that way - after all, none of us has time to meet all of the six billion people in the world. My significance (and memorability) to Terry was very low. That is reality - it's not a problem. Had Terry and I had lunch or sat in committee meetings together, if he forgot that we'd met, I would be concerned.

So if that happened and if I were concerned, I would work not on my memorability with Terry (lapel pins etc.) but on the significance of our interaction. If I had a reason to be known to Terry, e.g., we served on a committee together, I'd try for a conversation that found common ground in our interests. I'd get to know enough about him to create a bond based on what Terry cares about.

Significance is more important than memorability, in my view. It is easy to be known and to remembered for what we are known for - a loud laugh, a goofy introduction line, or a face-sized tattoo. It is a bit harder but more effective to become significant to the people whose connection we value.

I don't want Terry or anyone else to see me and start firing neurons that say "I've met her - I see that zebra pin." If I am significant to the people I care to know and be known by, they won't forget me. That's my plan for this lifetime. Next lifetime, I may opt for that half-face tattoo.