What's the More Evolved Version of "I Told You So?"

3com is being sold -- they found a buyer for the company, somehow. I know, I know, it's impolite to say "I told you so." Still, there must be an acceptable version of that sentiment, something about validation and trusting your gut.

Anyway, in this case, I was far from the only person who told you so. There were about 7000 of us, as I recall. Plus, in my example there's no "you." The story is that about 7000 of us U.S. Robotics people, back in 1997, had the sharp and unmistakable feeling in our guts that nothing good could come out of our company's acquisition by the muddled-thinking, pompous, Starbuck's-in-the-reception-area-by-the-reflecting-pool people of 3com.

So ten years down the road, 3com is being acquired for $2.2 billion by a Chinese concern, and there's some consternation in Washington about it because of the idea of the Chinese having access to our technology. Why am I not losing sleep about whatever technology the Chinese can get from 3com?



Given that USR was acquired for six billion dollars, ten years ago, and that one of the smaller divisions of the company at the time of the deal was Palm Computing, and that 3com was about USR's size at the time of the acquisition, I'd say that 3com's stellar management team destroyed something between $10 - $15 billion in shareholder value in ten years. Does that sound about right to you? I'm not a financial person - I'm an HR Opera Singer, for Pete's sake.


One of my favorite post-acquisition stories was from a person who stayed on with the new combined company after USR was sucked into 3com. He went to a meeting about a year after the deal closed, at 3com's then-headquarters in Santa Clara. At the meeting, he was horrified to see a presenter walk the audience through a Power presentation on the state of some project. Horrified - because this fellow in the audience had created the Powerpoint himself and had presented it a full year before! Not only was the purloined Powerpoint offered up as original, but in the intervening year, none of the recommendations had been taken up and none of the milestones had been met. Someone just took the Powerpoint and changed the dates. Talk about Office Space!


So this was the 3com that bought USR and then slowly tanked, and it sounds melodramatic, but they killed something really cool when they bought USR and smashed into robo-paste. It was not perfect by a long stretch, but we had a good company where people had fun working hard and coming up with great products. You don't find that every day.


I've written more 3com-inspired bad management stories than I can remember, but here is one of my favorites.


We said it, we said it over and over: this can't work. These guys are full of hot air. From the first moment I was exposed to the 3com leadership, I wondered: why does every manager you talk to in this place make excuses for Eric, the CEO? They say, "He's really smart, it's just that..." and they say "He's a great guy, but you have to understand...." What kind of company has a CEO that people have to make excuses for?


Then there was Homer. Homer was a great friend of mine since we were literally teenagers working together at our previous job, before we ever heard of USR. He passed away just before I moved to Colorado - at age 40, the saddest thing ever. I met Homer before he learned English, when he'd just arrived from Baguio City in the Philippines in order to replace his older brother Hernando (8 boys in the family, all bearing "H" names) who wasn't coming back to the U.S. anytime soon after his vacation.


Homer worked at USR and got laid off soon after the 3com deal was done. At that time, they didn't want to pay anyone the six months severance package, so they'd search like crazy for another job for you in the company in hopes that they could force you to take the lower-level job available or quit, sans severance. Amazingly, they found nothing in IT for Homer to do, so they gave him the six-month check and his walking papers. He found a job in ten minutes (this was during the boom) but a month later they called him back. Hey Homer, they said, we have another job for you. He called me up. Should I go interview with them? he said. Do it, I said, it will be interesting. Mostly likely you won't want the job, but there'll be anthropological value in talking to them.


So he did. They offered him the job. And they said, "Of course, you'll have to give us the severance check back. You can keep one month's pay and give us back the other five."

Really? You laid me off, and I only have to pay you five months of salary for the privilege of coming back to work for you? As my dear husband would say: pull the needle out of your arm. Can you imagine the organizational braindeath that would allow a human being to say that to another person with a straight face?


Homer stayed put in his new job, of course. In a company, the quality of leadership is everything. Culture is everything. Respect for people is so important. We said it in '97 -- these people are headed straight down the tubes. Hate to be right about a thing like that, for the sake of thousands of laid-off 3com people and the customers and the shareholders too. But we can at least say this: we saw it coming, from a mile away.

This is Networking?

A few months I more or less bashed the new social-networking site Viadeo on this blog, and after that post was published I heard from a couple of people who work for Viadeo. I was impressed that they would take the time to write to me, and one of them offered to talk on the phone, but, sad to say, I don't have time to do that.

I just can't make it a priority to talk to these folks, nice as I'm sure they are, and hear about how they're working on the bugs that I complained about in my earlier blog post.

The thing is, though, that after I heard from these Viadeo guys I felt kinda bad. I'm not a basher, in general, except when I bash abstract ideas like forced-ranking systems and companies abusing job-seekers and junk like that. These Viadeo people, of course, are real people, so it was a little different. Even though the excuse they gave me in their email messages -- explaining why the site had so many problems --- was the world's worst excuse ("we have just launched the English version of the site") --- I've been wondering whether I should give them another chance.

Okay, so now you have the setup. Then, today, comes this message in my in-box. I'm not blaming the Viadeo guys for the message, of course -- you get this kind of thing from LinkedIn and Facebook too -- but check this out. Is this networking?:

I have recently been invited to join this network by Eric Didier, COO of Viadeo. He has encouraged me to build a profile and a group for my company [whatever]. We are currently building a network that spans an endless taxonomy for [blah blah blah]. [Our thing] is a [yada yada] website where members can upload there books, media, training courses, PDF, presentations, etc… and give it away for free or fee. Our vision for [this outfit] is to have a common medium of communication for cross pollinating global teachings on everything in the world. Our hopes are that we will help bridge the gaps in education, religion, politics, and economic barriers globally. Every business connection brings us one step closer to finding the contributors who will hopeful one day change the world through education. I look forward to sharing ideas and a mutually beneficial relationship! Sincerely, [el Spamito]

Seriously -- is there any way this could be considered networking? Don't know the guy from Adam; and here comes this email message inviting me to connect directly with him on Viadeo, and the message is nothing but a misspelled, long-winded promo for his website. Yes, let's do, by all means, I couldn't imagine anything more delightful than being your direct connection on Viadeo! And also, can you please come to my house and stick needles in my eyes? What the heck!

You reach out to someone, you want to say something about that person. Like "we know Marjorie Smith in common" or "I have heard so much about you" or "I saw you speak at the Rotary Club luncheon last month." The worst part of it is that every other word I write is networking how-to advice. So if you send me a spamtastic opening message, then it's a double diss, because you're saying "I don't have two seconds to spend looking into who you are or what you've written" along with the usual "here's all about ME."

Yeah, so Viadeo is back in my doghouse.

The Two Faces of Ivo: A Fable

Ivo Jukic stared at his computer. He’d been struggling with the same logical problem for twenty minutes, and that wasn’t like him. Ivo frowned. Why is this so difficult? he wondered. He’d solved harder problems than this in half the time. He pushed back his chair and looked at the ceiling.

Ivo knew why he was distracted. His wife Marjana was six weeks away from delivering their first child, and things at Ivo’s company weren’t great. His boss, Jason, was in New York today meeting with the company’s president. Ivo blew out a breath. He’d been reading up on COBRA. If Ivo should lose his job, his family’s medical coverage would continue for a while. But what about the mortgage, and the utilities? What about gas for his car? Ivo sighed. Just then, the phone rang.

“Hi, gorgeous!” sang Marjana’s voice.

“What are you up to this morning?” asked Ivo. ”Just work,” said Marjana. “I called to remind you, my doctor’s appointment is at three this afternoon. I took the train to work, so do you want to pick me up at my office?”

“Babe, I’m not sure I can go with you to the doctor today,” said Ivo. “I’m glad you called. You might have to take the train downtown. Jason is in New York, and somebody might need a quick bug fix from our group, so I have to stay here.”

“Shoot,” said Marjana. “Are you sure?”
”I don’t want to be paranoid,” said Ivo. “Probably, I can disappear for two hours with no problem. But things are so weird here right now. Let me call Jason really quick and call you back.”
”Okay, I’ll be here,” said Marjana. Ivo dialed his manager’s cell phone and Jason picked up on the first ring.

“I’m sorry to bother you, Jason,” began Ivo, “but I wanted to see if you thought there’d be any problem if I went with Marjana to the doctor this ---“

“No problem,” said Jason wearily, “go for it, and take her to lunch. Tell Marjana I said hi.”
”What’s wrong, Jason?” asked Ivo. “You sound exhausted.”
”We were here until three a.m. last night,” said Jason. “It’s a bad deal, Ivo. It looks like our whole division is going under the ax.”
”Whoa,” said Ivo. “Are you allowed to talk about it?”
”I told Frank that I was going to tell you and Cindy about it,” said Jason. “There’s an all staff meeting planned for Friday, but I wanted to tell you two guys about it myself, because we’ve worked together so long. Please don’t say anything to Cindy until I get ahold of her.”
”Of course,” said Ivo. “Is there anything else I should know?”
”The meeting will be Friday, and that’ll be our last day,” said Jason. “I’m leaving, we’re all leaving, and they’re figuring out the severance packages now.”
”Do you know what you’re gonna do next?” asked Ivo.
”No idea, but we can have coffee next week and brainstorm, eh?” asked Jason with a sad laugh.

“Listen, Jason, this sucks, but you’re a great boss and I appreciate what you’ve done for me,” said Ivo.
“That is just like you, Ivo!” laughed Jason. “This is where you’re supposed to say, ‘What the hell, I’ve worked my ass off for seven years and now—“

“Shut up Jason, you’re insulting me,” said Ivo. Jason laughed.

The two of them were silent for a moment.

“It’s been fun,” said Jason finally.

“I can’t believe I was twenty-five when you hired me,” said Ivo. “You’ve taught me a lot.”

”Okay, that’s enough of that,” said Jason. “No group hugs yet. I’ll see you on Friday morning.”

”Thanks, Jason,” said Ivo. “I know this sucks for you.”

”What are you gonna do?” asked Jason, and hung up the phone.

Ivo looked out the window. He picked up the phone.

”Marjana?” he said. “I’ll pick you up at two-thirty.”

.........................


Ivo stared at his screen. He’d been applying for jobs online for a week, and he was already burnt out on the process. He dialed his brother’s number. “Darko, do you remember the name of that headhunter who came to your niece’s christening?” he asked. “Sure, that was Al Maklovic, and I’ve got his number somewhere,” said Darko. “How’s the job search going?””It’s okay,” said Ivo. “I’m not too worried, but it’s so isolating, sitting here staring at the computer. I haven’t had any interviews yet. But I’ve sent out about a dozen resumes.”

“You gotta crank it, bro,” said Darko. “A dozen resumes in two weeks won’t cut it. It’s all about volume.”

“I’ve been painting the baby’s room and working on my car,” said Ivo. “I can’t just stare at these job sites all day long.” “I know, it’s the worst,” said Darko, “but that’s the only way you’re gonna get a call.”

“Okay, get me that number, willya?” asked Ivo, and went back to the screen. He looked over his resume for the fifteenth time. Is this resume going to do it for me? he wondered.
Ivo looked at his watch. He had promised to meet Jason for coffee at four p.m. and it was noon already. Ivo set a goal for himself. I’ll send out a dozen resumes before I go to meet Jason. Just then, Ivo noticed that the red light on his phone was flashing. When did that happen?,he wondered. Ivo picked up the phone.

“You have four new messages,” the robot lady’s voice said. Four! Ivo tried not to get excited as he grabbed a pen to write down the messages.
“Ivo, this is Gloria Smith from Klein Manufacturing,” said the first caller. “We got your resume, and we’d be interested in learning more about you for an opening in our Applications Engineering group. I’ve sent our candidate questionnaire to the email address listed on your resume. If you could fill that out and send it back to us, we’d be very grateful.”
Ivo downloaded email and, sure enough, there was the Klein Manufacturing questionnaire. He wanted to open the attachment and take a look, but no – three other messages were still on his machine.

“Hello Mr. Jukic,” said the second caller. She stumbled over Ivo’s last name, like everyone else who wasn’t Bosnian. “This is Amanda Reynolds, from Charles Electronics. We were very impressed with your resume and would like to schedule a phone interview when it’s convenient. Can you please call me back?” Ivo scribbled down Amanda’s number. Pay dirt! he thought. Two job leads in ten minutes.

The third message was from Marjana’s mom, wanting to know if Marjana could join her for a concert a few weeks out. Ivo smiled. He knew there was no concert, only a surprise baby shower, but he’d promised his mother-in-law he’d keep the secret. Marjana probably suspected, too, but it was fun pretending.

Ivo skipped ahead to the last message. “Ivo, this is Sandra Levine from Parallel Industries,” said the caller. “We got your resume, and would love to talk with you. We have an opening that you might be interested in. Can you please call me when you can?” Ivo grabbed his pen and scratched down Sandra’s number. He stood up, went to the sink and splashed his face with water. Showtime!, he said to himself. He sat down and picked up the phone.

Two hours later, Ivo stood up, stunned. He’d left a message for Gloria Smith, letting her know he’d received the Klein Manufacturing questionnaire. He’d spoken live to Amanda Reynolds, the HR person from Charles Electronics. They’d had a good conversation, and she’d set up an interview for him – tomorrow! – with the head of Engineering. Then, he’d called Parallel Industries, and gotten the biggest surprise of the day.

Sandra Levine was the VP of HR for Parallel, and she’d spent fifteen minutes on the phone filling Ivo in on the company’s business and its latest big project. Then, she’d transferred him to the VP of Software Development, Mo Cloonan. Mo and Ivo had talked for another half hour, during which Mo shared his plans with Ivo and learned what Ivo was looking for in a job. Somehow, they’d gotten off the topic of work altogether and Ivo had said something about Marjana’s pregnancy – sending Mo off on a tangent about his new granddaughter in Michigan. Mo and Ivo had made plans to meet tomorrow night, for dinner. Mo had even said “Your resume caused quite a stir over here, and your three patents didn’t hurt either. We could really use someone with your background.” Ivo dialed Marjana’s number at work, thinking: I wonder if these guys would have a job for Jason?

The next thirty hours were an exhilarating blur. Ivo had a fantastic interview with Charles Electronics, and an even better talk over dinner with Mo Cloonan of Parallel Industries. Mo had finished their meeting by saying, “There are three or four people I’d like you to meet in our shop, Ivo. But I have an offer to make you right now, if you’re interested. We are exhibiting at a trade show next week. If you can join us in the booth in Las Vegas, we’d love to have you there. I’ll pay you as a contractor if you can make it. You’ll have a great chance to get to know the product and team, and we’ll get to know you better, too.” Ivo said yes to that offer on the spot.

Back at home, he filled Marjana in on his day. “This is crazy, Ivo,” said Marjana. “We’ve still got another four weeks of your severance package. You may be working before the severance runs out.” ”Well, I don’t feel bad about that,” said Ivo. “Our baby deserves a little bonus, and so do you, with all the hours I worked at the old job.” “Oh, I know,” said Marjana, “but it’s kind of a lucky thing, isn’t it?”

“Say, Marjana,” said Ivo, “Did I tell you your mom called, about a concert?”

Two days later, Ivo was standing in the security line at the airport, headed for Las Vegas. He’d just gotten off the phone with Mo Cloonan, who’d laughingly told him that the division VP had said, “If this Jukic guy is so hot, why don’t you hire him? I don’t want to pay an hourly contractor rate for all those dinners and parties in Vegas!” But, as Mo explained, Ivo couldn’t be brought on the full-time Parallel payroll until his background check was complete, and that would take a few days.

Ivo had said, “Look, Mo, I’m grateful for you speeding things along. I’m really excited to work with your guys. The product is very cool, and your team is incredible.””Thanks for saying that, Ivo,” said Mo. “At Parallel we feel like the only thing we can compete with is the people who work in the company.” “I can see that,” said Ivo. “I only met you for the first time less than a week ago, and I already feel really comfortable with you and everyone in the group. I feel really lucky.”

“Hey, we feel lucky too, Ivo,” said Mo. “I talked to your last boss, Jason, earlier today, and he couldn’t say enough great things about you. I’m hoping we can create a position for that guy – he sounds like a winner.” “He’s the best,” said Ivo. “You don’t even have to pay me a referral bonus.”

“Whoa, whoa,” said Mo, “Your referral bonus is the dinners I’ll be buying you in Vegas.” “Vegas dinners are cheap,” said Ivo. Mo laughed and hung up. Ivo thought, “If I’m a manager someday, that’s how I’m going to hire people.”

Hailing a cab at the airport in Las Vegas, Ivo felt his cell phone quiver on his hip. He grabbed it and snapped it open to see a familiar number on the screen. “Luba!” he said. “Long time no talk! What’s new?”

“Hiya Ivo,” said Luba, Darko’s ex-girlfriend. “I’m great. I’ve been thinking about you and Marjana and the baby. It’s so exciting!”

“We are excited,” said Ivo. “We’re looking at cribs this weekend. It’s getting close.”

“Well, so I was thinking about you, and then I started hearing your name in my office,” said Luba. “It’s crazy! You’re the talk of the town at my job!”

“Uh – I am?” asked Ivo. “Where are you working now?”

”Well, I’m temping,” said Luba. “I’ve got a year to go in my nursing program, so I’m working office jobs to pay the bills. I’ve got this temp assignment at a place called Klein Manufacturing. You must have sent in a resume?”

“Oh man, that’s right,” said Ivo. “I did, but you know, I got these two incredible opportunities on the same day, so I backed out of the process. I told this Gloria woman that I didn't have time to fill out this questionnaire they sent me, because I was pursuing these other things. And the one that I’m taking, Luba, it’s unreal, let me tell you, I’m in Vegas right ---“

“You don’t have to explain to me,” laughed Luba, “even though I’d love to catch up and hear how you and Marjana are doing and all about your job search. But anyway, here at Klein, they’re saying you’re arrogant because you didn’t fill out our questionnaire. They’re talking about you like they know you, which really pissed me off because I DO know you and I think you’re the greatest guy on the planet, better than your hot but unreliable brother Darko.”

”Hey hey, none of that,” said Ivo, “I still root for you and Darko to get back together –“

“Which might happen if he solves his arrested development problem,” said Luba, “but I’m trying to tell you, these people were dragging your name through the mud.”

”Seriously?” asked Ivo. “I mean, what could they know about me?”

”Well, they know that you think you’re too good to fill out their questionnaire, or they think they know that, so they take that little piece they think they know and blow it up to say that you’re high-maintenance and a prima donna. I just wanted to let you know, so in case this job offer falls through, you don’t circle back to Klein Manufacturing. But listen, I’m happy for you Ivo, and give Marjana a hug for me. I gotta fly.”

“Okay, take it easy Luba,” said Ivo, and paid the cabdriver. So, Klein Manufacturing thinks I’m arrogant? How strange. Well, life is long. I’m not gonna lose any sleep over it.

Ivo spotted the team from Parallel huddling in the hotel lobby. “Hey, guys!” he called. “Yo, Ivo!” they answered. “Come over and look at these plans for the booth. This demo is in a weird spot, right? We can change that. Hey, Marco, get Ivo a drink, wouldja?”